You may not be as tough as you think you are

If there is one thing I have grown tired of as a coach, it’s newer students coming in assuming they are tough. That word gets thrown around a lot in the fighting world, and everyone thinks that word describes them. And it doesn’t. Not even close. Want to know why? Because no one really knows what tough is.

There is a reason why I preach lighter, technical sparring 9 times out of 10. It’s because we need to build skills. Hard sparring does have its place, and I’m not against it. If you don’t believe me, ask the few members on our fight team. I’ve let them go at it. But again, that is rare. Frequently, I will see students in open gym or during drills or sparring games start ramping up power. During open gym I’ll let students do whatever all parties agree to, so if both parties want to go hard, I’ll allow it as it’s your time and you pay your membership dues. However, I’ll usually recommend they chill. When I say this I hear the same things. Things about how they are tough, how they can take it, blah blah blah. 

Guess what? I don’t care. I’m not telling you to lighten up because I’m worried about your health (okay I care a little bit about that, but that’s not why I’m saying it). I’m telling you to lighten up so you can focus on learning and developing. I’m telling you to lighten up so you can feel what’s happening instead of it being a blur. I’m telling you to lighten up so you can spend two hours training instead of one. 

Everyone thinks being tough is how much abuse you can take in one session. I hate to break it to you but most people are tough enough to suffer through a hard class and a hard sparring session. If most people can do it, then it isn’t tough. The things that are tough are the things very few people do. Very few people do these things because they are actually tough.

Tough is repping out hundreds of roundhouses on the heavy bag perfecting your form—and if you think taking pain is tough, let me know how your calves, hips, and shins feel after throwing 300 roundhouses each leg on the heavy bag. Tough is eating healthy every single day and not stopping at the pizza shop next door right after training. Tough is running 3-10km multiple times a week, waking up early to do strength and conditioning, going to bed early since you have to wake up early, etc. I can’t count the  amount of “tough” students I’ve seen over the years that train less than 3 days a week and eat terribly. I understand it can feel impossible balancing everything, but it isn’t impossible. It's just extremely tough.

What drives me crazy is how much worse this issue is in the fighting world than it is in other sports. I assume every sports coach has this issue but it is so terribly common in the fighting world. You think Kobe Bryant, Serena Williams, Bryce Harper, Tom Brady, Wayne Gretzky, Bo Jackson, Michael Phelps, etc. got to the top by only competing and scrimmaging? They spent countless hours doing drills. Kobe spent hours and hours just working on the release point of his shot. Then hours on layups. Hours on free throws. Hours on passing. Serena spent hours each week just working on forehand, then backhand, then serving, then footwork. I could keep going, but you get the point.

Toughness is the ability to endure hardship. One hard day is nothing. That’s not enduring. You have to get your butt in the gym and work 4-6 days a week. And you have to actually work. Not just spar. Sparring is the reward you give yourself for working hard, not the hard, ensuring work. The hard work is slowing things down and repeating it over and over and over again until you can no longer do it wrong. Toughness is patience. It’s trusting the process. It’s putting your ego to the side and working on the fundamentals repeatedly.

If you think being tough is being able to get hit hard and keep going, have fun with that. It is an important trait to have in the fight world, I don’t deny that. But if you have to keep showing that trait off, it means you’re constantly getting your butt whopped. I want to be tough in that sense but if I could only choose between being tough by that definition or being good, I choose being good. And you get good by being tough the real way. By enduring what others will not. Not by just sparring everyday without drilling the skills.